Amy's Boobie Blog ..............MY Cancer Story

PARTY PARTY PARTY! The past two weeks have been one celebration after the other and that is how I intend to live my life now, CELEBRATING it. Party at the Fox and Hound! My last radiation treatment was on a Wednesday and by the following Monday I was back at work in Cincinnati. I had a great time celebrating with them.  We had a party after work at the Fox and Hound complete with cake, balloons and wine. Ahhhh.  The pink balloons hovered below the lights and turned the area and our pictures PINK. Party in the Gym! While in Cinci I headed to the hotel gym.  I missed having energy to make it through the day so having enough to exercise was out of the question for me.  I read a lot about how you could reduce the side effects  of treatment by keeping up on exercise but I did little more than walk the dog around the block for the past nine months.  I got in 30 minutes and loved it.  I was BACK BABY!  After returning home I rejoined the gym.  It's hard to see how little

CROSSING THE FINISH LINE! Today is the day I have been looking forward to, my last breast cancer treatment.  It's been a special day and I have been soaking up the attention.  Everyone around me has been smiling, congratulating, and cheering me on.  My co-workers had a surprise pitch-in and left balloons in my office.  Someone even made my favorite cake, German chocolate! Yummmm I left work ten minutes early for my appointment because I couldn't concentrate anymore and while I was sitting in my car outside the doctor's office Jeff pulled up on the motorcycle.  He even brought my helmet so we could go for a ride together afterwards. When we walked into the Oncology center the lady at the front desk smiled real big before I was even close to the desk and said "Last One!"  I asked her how she knew and she said it was highlighted on the computer.  Isn't that nice!  I would like to shake the hand of the person who thought to add that to the scheduling

ZEROING IN ON THE TUMOR BED Yesterday was my last all-over radiation treatment and today they started to zoom in on just the tumor bed.  Rather than covering my whole breast, underarm, and part of my chest, it just covers a baseball size circle around the area where the cancer was removed. Before the machine fired from above me on the right, down across my breast and out my underarm, and then moved to below me on the left, up through my underarm and breast.  I found a graphic that shows exactly what the all over treatment looked like.  This picture is even for the left breast, just like me. Today it was aimed just inches away from my breast and fired straight down on it.  This made me nervous because I remember the doctor saying that they try to aim away from the lungs.  I guess that is what they did the first 26 times, but there is no way they are missing it now! The buzz from the machine lasted about 45 seconds (it seemed) and again I imagined the radiation penetrating my

OLD AMY, MEET NEW AMY... It's all starting to blur together now.  I don't remember one radiation treatment from the other.  I'm stuck in the movie Groundhog Day! Park in the same spot and walk in quickly (because I'm usually running late) Smile at the clerk who waves me on to the dressing room Put on a smock and hide my keys under my clothes - don't even bother to hang them on the hook Follow the tech to the machine Line my butt up with the top of the pad Take my arm out of my smock and put it above my head Focus on the ceiling pictures while she draws lines on my chest and boob Count to 30 while the machine buzzes, then moves to the other side and count to 30 again Wait for her to come back in, get up and follow her back to the dressing room Put on my shirt and pitch my smock in the laundry Turn off the lights and leave the room (I'm the last patient of the day) The whole process takes just 10 minutes and I've done it 25 times so far.  J

WAITING FOR THE OTHER SHOE TO FALL Today I started my fourth week of radiation and still no skin side effects. I'm trying to let myself enjoy it without thinking about how bad "it's going to get". I'm just feeling so much better since chemo it's hard for me to accept it. Last week the doctor offered some encouragement when he said, "If you haven't had any discomfort yet, it probably won't be bad". Whew. I might catch a break! My hair is still growing but much slower than I want it to. I've been taking biotin (B7 vitamin) to stimulate hair and nail growth. I don't know what it would look like without it, but I don't want to stop to find out. I really just want it to grow-grow-grow! I stopped wearing hats every day because I noticed my hair breaking where my bangs would be. It didn't seem like people were looking at me as much so I asked Grace if she noticed it as well and she had. I feel much more confident with

LEARNING A LESSON I finished my second week of radiation yesterday. Aside from my normal fatigue (normal for the last 5 months) I haven't had any side effects.  The neuropathy still bothers me but I don't think it is as often (knock on wood). A book I can borrow from my sister Angie.  :-) Work has been crazy. First just because it always is, and second because I've allowed myself back in the circus.  Contrary to the compliments I have received saying how surprised they have been that I have continued to stay engaged at work, I really didn't.  I skimmed the surface, just oiling the squeakiest wheel and putting out fires (my opinion of course).  My projects were in a holding pattern and now I'm feeling the effects.  People want results now and I am months behind on all the "behind the scenes work" it takes to start showing it.  I'm told it is OK by management closest to me, but I can't make myself not care no matter how hard I try.  Chemo he

STARTING RADIATION I finished my first week of radiation - 5 treatments down and just 28 to go! A week ago Friday I went in to have a CAT scan and get marked up by the doctor.  I thought I would get small tattoos to mark the place where the machine would be lined up, but they used a Sharpie instead.  The doctor laid it out by pressing on my chest and collar bone.  The process was pretty quick and painless. The following Monday (6 days ago) I went in for my first treatment. I arrived and had to wait for the techs and the doctor to finish their planning session.  They reviewed the CAT scan results and other points in my medical record to lay out how much juice they would give me and at what angles etc.  I was led back into the room where the CAT scan was done and was told they would be taking some additional pictures first.   They left the room and the machine got to work.  About 5 minutes later they came in to tell me they were done.  I was ready to move on to the radiation treat

BACK FROM VACATION / BACK TO THIS FIGHT Back from Vacation... We arrived home from our vacation yesterday afternoon, took it easy in the evening, and then headed back to work today.  We had a gre at time and Jeff and I both got a nice tan head!!  Like I mentioned in my last blog, I sp ent a lot of time without a hat.  They were hot and uncomfortable on the beach and since I was surrounded by strangers I felt more comfortable.  By the end of the vacation I was forgetting to wear it.  On the way home we ran into a restaurant for lunch and it wasn't until Grace pointed it out to me that I realized I wasn't wearing one. Back to this Fight... Chemo ended on June 12 th and I am ready to start the final stretch of this race, radiation. I met the radiation oncologist today and learned more about the process and side effects.  I guess if you hadn’t gone through chemo you might be bothered by the side effects.  For me though they are much less than what I have been exp

CELEBRATING WITH A VACATION I finished my last chemo treatment on June 12, 2012 and I pray I never have to do that again.  If I am ever diagnosed with breast cancer again though I will.  Life is worth the fight.  My chances of a reoccurrence are 20%, much better because I decided to treat it aggressively.  The only thing I opted not to do was the mastectomy.  And if it comes back I won't hesitate to do that too. Radiation starts on July 9th.  I meet my Radiologist on the 2nd, the day after I return from vacation. No need to think about that now.  It is CELEBRATION time!  I am blogging from a 12th floor balcony overlooking the beautiful beach and ocean in Gulf Shores, Alabama.  Tropical storm Debby has decided to head east and for that I am very thankful.  She hung out in the Gulf for a few days while making up her mind and it was looking pretty bad here when we arrived yesterday.  Double red flags were up and the Coast Guard was kept busy looking for people who thought they were

CHEMO DONE :-) I'm on day five after my last chemo treatment.  It's going slower than I expected, probably because the meds have been creeping up.  After my first treatment of this medicine I ended up in the hospital.  We made some changes afterwards that included cutting back on the dose and working our way back up.  This last one was back at 100% and I can tell. I'm SO sick of my bed and the couch!  I know that is where I need to be because I feel better after doing so. I'm just so board.  HGTV is my favorite, but I'm really starting to hate my kitchen the more I watch it.  LOL.  I dream about remodeling it.  I also dream about making an "Income Property" in my basement (that I don't have), buying a home overseas (which I don't want to do), and more. It's going to be a tough week but will be great in the end.  

QUALITY TIME WITH HUBBY This past weekend Jeff and I celebrated out 22nd wedding anniversary.  22 YEARS, Oh my!  When I think about all we have been through.....  struggling to eat and pay bills, me wrecking the car ...again, Jeff's heart problems, struggles starting a family, extended family trauma, Jeff's health again, and then my breast cancer, I can't believe how far we have come.  And I can't imagine doing it without him. This past weekend we took a romantic trip to French Lick and stayed at West Baden.  It was like a trip back in time to a much simpler era.  My energy is still low and I can't walk too much without feeling like I've gone 10 times as far.  Jeff was so understanding and attentive.  He didn't once make me feel like I was holding him back.  Stairs seem to be the hardest for me.  After walking up several, without even asking, he quickly found a comfortable place for us to rest until I was ready to move on. Saturday we took a stroll thr

MISCELLANEOUS THOUGHTS I've said it before and I'll say it again, not one of these chemo treatments has been the same.  Yeah, we've tinkered with meds and stuff, but it's gone further than that.  Even when we haven't, my body has reacted differently.  Maybe it's because it is cumulative.  Maybe it's because I am becoming more and more aware of my body and I concentrate on myself more.  Maybe it is because of the change in temperature or what I ate.  Who knows!   It kind of reminds me of being a new mother.  You keep trying things and listening to all the advice on how to make the baby sleep or eat or poop, but nothing works the same way twice. (Yeah, the sleep, eat, and poop thing applies to me as well.)  After seven treatments I finally realized if I can figure out what works for me at a particular time I should just go with it and be happy.  I don't obsess anymore on why it did work like that the last time around.   I've heard many times

THE FINAL STRETCH TO FINISHING CHEMO In the last few weeks I've experienced some new things.  Most not so good, but one very good. The not so good first: Chemo Nails: My nails are bumpy and yellow and recently started to lift up from the nail bed.  I have to be very careful when I do things like open a soft drink because they start to peal away even more.  It doesn't hurt, but the doctor said it will if they come off completely so I should be careful.  Here is a pic of "chemo nails" I found.  Not all of mine are this bad but some are. You might remember one of my earlier posts where I decided to go hiking with my brothers (dumb idea by the way - Dr Browning laughed at me).  My shoes were worn out and my big toes were killing me.  Eventually the nails turned black and this past week I lost one.  I'm sure it was a combination of "chemo nails" and the damage from hiking. Neuropathy: I experienced some neuropathy during the first round of the o

STARTING TO IMAGINE BEING DONE I'm nearing the end of a three week break between chemo treatments.  This should have been the second break in my Taxotere treatments but the last break was interrupted by a stay in the hospital.  It's been very nice this time.  I've felt pretty good and have even started to imagine what it will be like to talk about this as my past and not my current situation. I met with Dr. Browning two days before this second dose of Taxotere so that we could talk about what happened.  Before showing up to his office I took time to document the three weeks, day by day, and list out how I felt and what I or we did about it.  It was pretty easy to go through this exercise.  I've done it SO many times in my career.  At work we call it a post-mortem meeting.  It's when you get together after a big screw up to talk about it and make sure it doesn't happen again.  You try hard not to let emotion come into play or point fingers, and it usually end

ON THE MEND Three nights and days in the hospital were enough.  Although I was admitted under the diagnosis of a low white blood cell count, anemic, and pneumonia, I doubted the pneumonia from the start because I hadn't had a cold or cough.  Dr.Cook told me the next morning it was pleurisy.  I hadn't heard of pleurisy before but after reading up on it I was sure she was right.  The symptoms were dead on.  I'm still not sure why the ER didn't come to that conclusion. Pleurisy symptoms? The symptoms of pleurisy are chest pain and difficulty breathing. The chest pain usually starts suddenly. People often describe it as a stabbing pain, and it usually gets worse with breathing http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002347/ While in the hospital I was in reverse isolation and on IV antibiotics.  I didn't get the rest I was hoping for in the furry of nurses checking my vitals, hooking up more IVs, and testing my blood every couple hours.  I was m

RM 5105, ONCOLOGY & PULMONARY FLOOR Wow, it is amazing how much can happen in one day.  Yesterday at this time I posted a simple blog that said I was tired of telling the same story over and over again.  Well, I'll choose my words more carefully next time. At about 8:30pm I was standing in the kitchen getting a fudge pop and had a small belch.  I felt a sharp pain in my left side.  It came and went fast and I assumed it was just gas in my chest so I sat on the couch and watched a movie not giving it another thought. After the movie I pushed the recliner into the upright position and tried to stand up.  When I did, the pain in my side was awful.  I moved my arm around and twisted, thinking it was a pinched nerve but it didn't improve.  Jeff walked with me up the stairs so I could go to bed but with each step it grew worse.  Every breath was like a knife in my side with radiating pain through my back and up my neck. Within five minutes we decided to head to the emerge

CONTINUING TO TELL MY STORY I haven't felt like blogging lately.  As time goes on I'm uncomfortable talking about myself all the time.  Plus, it seems like it is the same story over and over and I'm tired of it, so how could others still be interested? But today some awesome ladies showed me that a story is not always about the beginning and the end, but the journey in between.  Right now it is the part of the book where you push through because you are already invested in the story and you want to see how it ends. Well, the end of my story has not yet been written.  God is with me just as much as he was on that first day and every page is important.  I will continue to tell it.

SHORTNESS OF BREATH THIS WEEKEND Well, I was told this second round of chemo (treatments 5-8) could be easier than the first, and overall it has been when it comes to nausea and fatigue.  I had an episode yesterday that has the jury still out though. This time I had to take steroids  the day before, of, and after.  The purpose of the steroid is to lesson the possibility of an allergic reaction to the chemo medicine.  I don't know for sure, but I think I had more of a reaction to the steroid than the chemo drug this weekend! Friday through Saturday I had times where my face would get really red, dry, and hot.  It was like my face was dehydrated and sunburned.  I kept putting lotion on my face, blistex on my lips, saline up my nose, and artificial tears in my eyes. Then I would lay under the ceiling fan!!  The problem with that is that the air would just dry up my lips, nose, and eyes again.  Geeze!  I don't know if this was the chemo drug or the steroid side effect. I al

TIME FOR ROUND TWO Chemo vacation is over and I'm reflecting during my quiet hour after Jeff is off to work, the kids are off to school, and Nikki hasn't yet arrived to drive me to that dreaded place.  It really is a lovely building and the people are equally as lovely.  But no amount of hospitality and warm decor can overcome the burning and sour feeling in my belly when I think about the chemo room. This break has reminded me what life outside of chemo feels like.  On my two week regimen  I had four days of feeling terrible, four days of feeling unfocused and weak, and six days of feeling not quite myself, but pretty good.  On this break I got to add to that seven days of feeling like the old me.  I still needed more sleep so I went to bed early and slept way in on the weekend, but overall I was back. I remember telling everyone how good I felt when I was pregnant with twins.  I wasn't lying, I really "thought" I felt well.  That was until after they were

MY CHEMO VACATION I am really enjoying this extended break (three weeks vs. two) between treatments.  It's only one extra week but I would always spend so much of my good time dreading the upcoming visit again and I've been able to not think about it so much. Timing is working out great.  On my old schedule I would have spent Easter in bed.  Now it will be over two weeks after the last treatment.  My sister Nikki is getting baptized on Easter and I plan to be the loudest one in the crowd cheering her on. This will be a day I prayed for for a long time. Last weekend was beautiful.  Jeff and I went motorcycle riding, hung out on the patio listening to the kids play in the yard, and went to see Hunger Games.  While we were riding we checked out some yard barns in Lowes parking lot.  I was hot and just pulled my do-rag right off my head.  The breeze felt great and I was far enough away to not see anyone's face who might have noticed.  I'm getting so much more gutsy ab

HALF WAY THROUGH CHEMO !!!! I mentioned in my last post I was half way through my chemo treatments and for that I would celebrate. It was hard to celebrate when I felt like poo, but I've broken through now!!!  It took a whole week this time to have a full feel-good day, but today it happened.  Thank you Lord! In my next round I'll be on a schedule of every third week rather than every other.  I will also move on to a different medication.  I hope that gives me some more "me" time.  My sister-in-law Lisa still had a tough time with it but the doctor tells me that is not what the majority of people experience.  Please Please Please let him be right. Tomorrow I'm spending the day with my brothers and all our kids.  We're going to do some geocaching!  I haven't seen these guys much since the first of the year so I'm really looking forward to it.  My siblings and I are pretty close but my brothers are having a hard time knowing what to say or do aroun

STARTING TO GET OLD  :-( It took longer to pull out of the fog last time.  The headaches and the foot problems cast a shadow over what were supposed to be my good days.  I managed though. The doctor confirmed my self-diagnosis on my feet.  It was in fact caused by pooling chemo meds that caused internal tissue damage.  I really DID have blisters on the INSIDE of my feet!  Dr. Browning felt bad that he couldn't understand enough to diagnosis it himself over the phone.  He told me to just head out the front door home and he would take care of my check-out.  There would be no charge. :-)  It is an uncommon problem because not many people have such a loving husband. :-)  The pooling was caused by foot massages just after my chemo treatment.  Jeff was just trying to make me feel better but it was drawing the meds to the bottoms of my feet.  He felt terrible about it.  I stayed off my feet, kept them out of hot water or shoes, and felt remarkably better by Monday. On the way home

CHEMO #3 DAY BY DAY - 5 Monday (Day 5) through Thursday (Day 8) Monday and Tuesday I battled headaches but they seem to be lifting.  Yesterday it occurred to me that they are worse early in my chemo recovery, when I'm not eating out and drinking sodas and when I'm not in the office drinking coffee!  Duh!! I don't think it is 100% caffeine related, but I'm sure it has to do with it some.  I also don't know who this chick in in this picture, but she represents how I feel about my coffee pretty well so I decided to include her.  ha ha ha  It's been a beautiful week.  On Monday evening I had some feel-good time so Jeff and I went for a motorcycle ride and stopped by to see my friend Jill.  We got the motorcycle in November and except for the day after I haven't been able to go for a ride.  I'm so grateful the kids can stay alone for short periods.  We reminded them there were a lot of leftovers in the fridge and they knew how to use the microwave.