STARTING TO GET OLD  :-(

It took longer to pull out of the fog last time.  The headaches and the foot problems cast a shadow over what were supposed to be my good days.  I managed though.

The doctor confirmed my self-diagnosis on my feet.  It was in fact caused by pooling chemo meds that caused internal tissue damage.  I really DID have blisters on the INSIDE of my feet!  Dr. Browning felt bad that he couldn't understand enough to diagnosis it himself over the phone.  He told me to just head out the front door home and he would take care of my check-out.  There would be no charge. :-)  It is an uncommon problem because not many people have such a loving husband. :-)  The pooling was caused by foot massages just after my chemo treatment.  Jeff was just trying to make me feel better but it was drawing the meds to the bottoms of my feet.  He felt terrible about it.  I stayed off my feet, kept them out of hot water or shoes, and felt remarkably better by Monday.

On the way home from my doctor's appointment I treated myself to my favorite, Yen Ching.  It was there that I made a funny observation.  If I'm out in public alone with just a hat on (no wig) people are drawn to look at me.  That's really okay, It's only natural to look at what is different.  What I figured out though is if I lock eyes with them they feel obligated to smile and say hello.  Then I get to do the same and show them that I'm ok.

I've continued to received sweet gifts from those that care about me.  You know who you are.  :-)  Some of them have come with names.  Some of them have been anonymous.  They make me smile and lift my spirits.

I haven't shaved my legs in several weeks but there is still stubble.  It's not growing anymore but not falling out either.  I guess I'll go a head and shave again and have nice smooth legs for the summer.  My eyebrows have been itchy.  I don't think that is a good sign.  I haven't put on mascara for a while since when I do I usually loose some eyelashes.  I sure don't want to speed things up there.  I signed up for a beauty class at the oncology center the first Friday of April.  I'll get a big bag of free make-up donated by high end companies and instruction on how to look my best.  This will come right about the time my face starts to swell up (from the steroids I have to start taking) and what looks like to be loosing my eyebrows.

I'm getting a little more comfortable with my bald head.  I played in the backyard with the dog bald last Saturday.  Our house sits on a hill so neighbors on all three sides can see.  I also drove through the Burger King drive through to get a cherry slushy (yum yum) without anything on my head.  Oooh, it was a good one.  Nice and thick.  I love slushies!

Before loosing my hair I had a pretty oily scalp.  I couldn't take a shower at night without it being dirty already by morning.  That isn't the case anymore!  I've cut my time getting ready in the morning in half.  That's nice.  Now I have to moisturize my head. Jeff has all the bald products though since he has been shaving his head for awhile.  I love his "Head Slick - Matte Finish".

I made a trip to Cinci this week.  It was a little shorter than what I have normally done but about all I could handle.  It was good to see everyone.  I wore a wig on the first 1/2 day, a scarf on the whole day, and a hat on the last 1/2 day, so I could show off all my looks.

Yesterday was chemo #4.  I had been dreading it.  In the past the day would sneak up on me, but not this time.  I spent too much time on my "good weekend" thinking about it coming up.  When I saw Dr. Browning yesterday, he sat down and immediately said, "So, your getting pretty tired of this aren't you?".  I was shocked that he could read my brain, but he said it's no surprise, this is the time it hits everyone like this.  Then he reminded me that so much of this is mind over matter and not to get down.  I'm half way done now and for this I will celebrate.