STARTING TO IMAGINE BEING DONE
I'm nearing the end of a three week break between chemo treatments. This should have been the second break in my Taxotere treatments but the last break was interrupted by a stay in the hospital. It's been very nice this time. I've felt pretty good and have even started to imagine what it will be like to talk about this as my past and not my current situation.
I met with Dr. Browning two days before this second dose of Taxotere so that we could talk about what happened. Before showing up to his office I took time to document the three weeks, day by day, and list out how I felt and what I or we did about it. It was pretty easy to go through this exercise. I've done it SO many times in my career. At work we call it a post-mortem meeting. It's when you get together after a big screw up to talk about it and make sure it doesn't happen again. You try hard not to let emotion come into play or point fingers, and it usually ends up with a list of procedures that will change. Well, that is exactly what we did. Dr. Browning got the biggest kick out of my day by day document. He read though it like a children's book and even added commentary like, "Oh no!" and, "He said what!". He acted like it was a story he didn't already know. His sense of humor is so wonderful.
He made two changes as a result of our post-mortem meeting. My second dose of Taxotere was set at only 80% of what I received the first time. Apparently patients receive just a little bit more than is necessary each time, just in case you have to cut back. I'll be back up to 100% the next time. I also had to welcome back the Neulasta shot. Blach! That is the shot Jeff gives me in my stomach the day after chemo. Neulasta encourages the bone marrow to produce more white blood cells. I took this shot after the first four chemo treatments, when my chemo included two other drugs which are generally much more difficult to deal with. Usually it is not necessary with Taxotere, but given my trip to the hospital I don't follow the norm.
I recovered faster this time and assume it was due to the reduced chemo dose and added help from Neulasta. Like every treatment though, there is always something different, a not-so-nice surprise that always keeps you on your toes. In the past I had some bone pain after the Neulasta but it was manageable. This time it came on fast and with a vengeance. It felt like my pelvis was broken on top of bad gas and menstrual pain. It took one and a half Lortabs to get any releif, and that was only after I threw up and nearly blacked out from the pain.
While I was going through this the kids were in bed with me. As a special treat we were going to cuddle up together and watch a movie in bed. I sent one of them to get Jeff, who was in the garage, and he came up to help. Their wasn't much he could do. It hurt to see him helpless and I wished the kids were not in the room. Thankfully the whole ordeal was over in under an hour.
During my good days I've spent a lot of time doing the things I enjoy, like motorcycle riding with Jeff, working in the yard, walking the dog, and shopping. I run out of energy at about the half way point though. I can't wait to start building up my stamina again. Yesterday I had to find a place to sit in Rual King while Abby went to get me a cart so I could lean on it. Ugh!!
I spent a work week in Cinci and even went out with friends the day after returning home! Jeff coulden't believe it when I was out until nearly midnight. I was pretty tired,but it was wonderful. I had dinner and even went to a bar with some old high school buddies. We caught up on what is going on in our lives today, remembered the old times, and also made some more memories. There was karaoke but I refrained from my customary selection of Delta Dawn.
On Friday I spent the day at Abby and Grace's school helping out with Fifth Grade Field Day. The heat was hard on me so I took a break in the middle of the day to come home for lunch and rest in the air conditioning. The teachers were so sweet. Many of them came to talk to me, several of them hugged me, and one tried to set up an umbrella for me so I wouldn't have to be in the sun.
Towards the end of the day another Mom approached me and said, "I don't have any knowledge of what you are going through, but wanted you to know that I am a five year breast cancer survivor." We chatted about our treatments and she offered some wonderful words of encouragement. She talked about life after breast cancer and chemo and I started to imagine it. Now I can't stop thinking about it. I could almost cry when I think about the day I can say this is over.
I'm nearing the end of a three week break between chemo treatments. This should have been the second break in my Taxotere treatments but the last break was interrupted by a stay in the hospital. It's been very nice this time. I've felt pretty good and have even started to imagine what it will be like to talk about this as my past and not my current situation.
I met with Dr. Browning two days before this second dose of Taxotere so that we could talk about what happened. Before showing up to his office I took time to document the three weeks, day by day, and list out how I felt and what I or we did about it. It was pretty easy to go through this exercise. I've done it SO many times in my career. At work we call it a post-mortem meeting. It's when you get together after a big screw up to talk about it and make sure it doesn't happen again. You try hard not to let emotion come into play or point fingers, and it usually ends up with a list of procedures that will change. Well, that is exactly what we did. Dr. Browning got the biggest kick out of my day by day document. He read though it like a children's book and even added commentary like, "Oh no!" and, "He said what!". He acted like it was a story he didn't already know. His sense of humor is so wonderful.
He made two changes as a result of our post-mortem meeting. My second dose of Taxotere was set at only 80% of what I received the first time. Apparently patients receive just a little bit more than is necessary each time, just in case you have to cut back. I'll be back up to 100% the next time. I also had to welcome back the Neulasta shot. Blach! That is the shot Jeff gives me in my stomach the day after chemo. Neulasta encourages the bone marrow to produce more white blood cells. I took this shot after the first four chemo treatments, when my chemo included two other drugs which are generally much more difficult to deal with. Usually it is not necessary with Taxotere, but given my trip to the hospital I don't follow the norm.
I recovered faster this time and assume it was due to the reduced chemo dose and added help from Neulasta. Like every treatment though, there is always something different, a not-so-nice surprise that always keeps you on your toes. In the past I had some bone pain after the Neulasta but it was manageable. This time it came on fast and with a vengeance. It felt like my pelvis was broken on top of bad gas and menstrual pain. It took one and a half Lortabs to get any releif, and that was only after I threw up and nearly blacked out from the pain.
While I was going through this the kids were in bed with me. As a special treat we were going to cuddle up together and watch a movie in bed. I sent one of them to get Jeff, who was in the garage, and he came up to help. Their wasn't much he could do. It hurt to see him helpless and I wished the kids were not in the room. Thankfully the whole ordeal was over in under an hour.
During my good days I've spent a lot of time doing the things I enjoy, like motorcycle riding with Jeff, working in the yard, walking the dog, and shopping. I run out of energy at about the half way point though. I can't wait to start building up my stamina again. Yesterday I had to find a place to sit in Rual King while Abby went to get me a cart so I could lean on it. Ugh!!
I spent a work week in Cinci and even went out with friends the day after returning home! Jeff coulden't believe it when I was out until nearly midnight. I was pretty tired,but it was wonderful. I had dinner and even went to a bar with some old high school buddies. We caught up on what is going on in our lives today, remembered the old times, and also made some more memories. There was karaoke but I refrained from my customary selection of Delta Dawn.
On Friday I spent the day at Abby and Grace's school helping out with Fifth Grade Field Day. The heat was hard on me so I took a break in the middle of the day to come home for lunch and rest in the air conditioning. The teachers were so sweet. Many of them came to talk to me, several of them hugged me, and one tried to set up an umbrella for me so I wouldn't have to be in the sun.
Towards the end of the day another Mom approached me and said, "I don't have any knowledge of what you are going through, but wanted you to know that I am a five year breast cancer survivor." We chatted about our treatments and she offered some wonderful words of encouragement. She talked about life after breast cancer and chemo and I started to imagine it. Now I can't stop thinking about it. I could almost cry when I think about the day I can say this is over.
I have no idea what things must be like for you but I'm happy you're blogging about it. I hope things get better for you soon!
ReplyDelete