Amy's Boobie Blog ..............MY Cancer Story

WAITING So many of my posts have been just talking about what happened physically.  In this post I want to talk about what was happening inside.  During the "waiting" period (December 8 - 28) there was a lot of time to think and pray.  When I had a couple hours to myself I bought a journal to record some of my first thoughts.  This blog is hard because it is personal, but that is why I'm doing this.  I don't just want to write about another breast cancer story, I want it to be mine. Here are some excerpts from that journal... 12/11/11 It's been just over 48 hours since I received the news and it seems like forever.  I wonder how many times I've said, "I have breast cancer", certainly only a fraction of the times I've thought it.  It is a constant in my brain.  Now I've even written it. 12/14/11 I'm sitting at the hospital waiting to register for my MRI.  I don't think I will learn anything today so why am I nervous?

MEETING THE ONCOLOGIST / TRIPLE NEGATIVE While waiting on my genetic testing results I met with the oncologist for the first time.  I knew we couldn't put together the treatment plan until after we knew what type of surgery I would have, but I thought it would be a good head start.  That way if I didn't like him I still had time to meet with someone else. There was no need to look further.  Jeff and I both loved him.  Even with the missing genetic testing results, we had plenty to talk about.  He pulled up a chair and talked to us eye to eye.  He asked lots of questions and honestly tried to get to know me as a person before we dug into the medical stuff.  For some reason it always fascinates people to hear that you work on those annoying phone systems that stand between you and a live customer service representative.  This man saves lives and he wanted to hear about what I did for a living!  Then of course he wanted to know what the trick was for by-passing those pesk

NOW WHAT The first two weeks were spent running tests to see what we were dealing with and the best way to tackle it. During the MRI they injected dye that would highlight any other breast cancer the mammogram didn't pick up.  The ladies were so nice, I didn't mind that it took four tries with the IV  (ouch!).  I was set up with some headphones for music and I tried to relax. While I laid there perfectly still, I thought I might start a tick-mark record of the number of times I was stuck with a needle through all of this.  Then I decided that would be depressing and I didn't need any of that!   During the rest of the 20-30 minutes I thought about how much my lip hurt being pressed against the foam pillow and into my teeth (I was laying on my stomach).  I attempted to move my lip without being noticed.  I'm sure I looked like someone wearing fake billy bob teeth. More about breast MRI: http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/testing/types/mri/how_performed.jsp Wh

TELLING EVERYONE After the call I quietly left work 30 minutes early.  I called Jeff from the car and cried right there in the parking garage.  We weren't surprised.  It didn't sound good during the biopsy the previous day.  But it was real now and it wasn't something I could run from. On the drive home I called Mom.  She asked me a question related to what I was going to do next (I don't remember what it was) and I told her I wanted to just drive home and pretend this didn't happen.  My mom has this way of saying, "Oh, Amy" where her voice embraces you through the phone during the quiet pause afterwards.  My brothers and sisters know exactly what I'm talking about.  They have felt it before too.  It's wonderful. Jeff and I told Abby and Grace that very night.  I didn't want to hide anything from them.  If we could all talk about it, it would be fine.  I always work my way through things by talking about them.  Grace and Jeff do too.  Not

CARCINOMA On Friday December 9, 2011, at 3:30pm I received the call.  She said it was Infiltrating Ductile Carcinoma.  All I heard was Carcinoma.      http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/types/idc/ It had all happened so fast.  The day before I strolled in for a call-back mammogram without worry.  I was just sure there must have been a fold in my skin or some other reasonable explanation why they would need new pictures.  When the tech pointed out to a trainee working along side her, "See here, that's the spot we are trying to get good pictures of.", my heart sank.  It was still there! I waited nervously while the Radiologist examined the new pics and texted my every thought to Lisa, my BFF and sister-in-law who had bravely and faithfully traveled this journey just 12 months before me. I was called back in for even more pictures, waited again, was pulled in for an ultrasound, waited again, and then spoke to the doctor. He said there were characteristics about th