CHEMO #2 IS HISTORY...AND SO IS MY HAIR
2/26/12
Is it the drugs or the emotional journey that is making me feel so unbalanced? I'm teetering on the edges of consciousness and sleep, sober and drunk, together and in pieces. I'm ready for this weekend to be over so I might capture some of the normalcy again. But I have to wonder how long I can keep coming back to normal before normal isn't there anymore. My life just isn't the same anymore.
Thursday morning was my second chemo treatment. The doctor said I was doing really well and that my blood counts were good. That's the most important thing. I need to remember that.
After chemo Nikki took me to JoAnn's to buy fabric for scarves. Even though my hair had shown very little signs of falling out, the doctor said it would pick up speed fast and I needed to be prepared for my business trip this week. Mom met us at home and we tried some of them on. I pulled one off and we all saw it at the same time, a clump of hair in the fabric.
By Thursday evening I was in bed and like last time I've spent most the past three days there. I pulled myself out of bed on Friday morning to take a shower. When I was washing my hair my fingers snagged on a knot and without thinking I pulled on it a little. That's when a I lost a clump.
My dreams for the next day and a half were plagued with fears of my hair falling out at the wrong time. Most of the time it was just that feeling of it so easily releasing from my head, being wrapped around my fingers, or clogging the drain. Other times it was while I was in a meeting or in front of the kids.
On Saturday afternoon I decided not to wait any longer and Jeff buzzed it off. He was so nervous but never hesitated. I know it was hard for him too.
2/27/12
It's a new day and I'm feeling better, both mentally and physically. I considered editing yesterday's post because it is just so darn depressing, but I changed my mind. That's how I felt yesterday and I want to keep this blog real. It's not always easy to keep a positive attitude. I just have to keep pulling myself back up!
Today started out rough, but like last time, half way through the day was the turning point. I felt much better after noon. I even made dinner for the family and took the dog for a short walk!
Now for the buzz cut unveiling.....
2/26/12
Is it the drugs or the emotional journey that is making me feel so unbalanced? I'm teetering on the edges of consciousness and sleep, sober and drunk, together and in pieces. I'm ready for this weekend to be over so I might capture some of the normalcy again. But I have to wonder how long I can keep coming back to normal before normal isn't there anymore. My life just isn't the same anymore.
Thursday morning was my second chemo treatment. The doctor said I was doing really well and that my blood counts were good. That's the most important thing. I need to remember that.
After chemo Nikki took me to JoAnn's to buy fabric for scarves. Even though my hair had shown very little signs of falling out, the doctor said it would pick up speed fast and I needed to be prepared for my business trip this week. Mom met us at home and we tried some of them on. I pulled one off and we all saw it at the same time, a clump of hair in the fabric.
By Thursday evening I was in bed and like last time I've spent most the past three days there. I pulled myself out of bed on Friday morning to take a shower. When I was washing my hair my fingers snagged on a knot and without thinking I pulled on it a little. That's when a I lost a clump.
My dreams for the next day and a half were plagued with fears of my hair falling out at the wrong time. Most of the time it was just that feeling of it so easily releasing from my head, being wrapped around my fingers, or clogging the drain. Other times it was while I was in a meeting or in front of the kids.
On Saturday afternoon I decided not to wait any longer and Jeff buzzed it off. He was so nervous but never hesitated. I know it was hard for him too.
2/27/12
It's a new day and I'm feeling better, both mentally and physically. I considered editing yesterday's post because it is just so darn depressing, but I changed my mind. That's how I felt yesterday and I want to keep this blog real. It's not always easy to keep a positive attitude. I just have to keep pulling myself back up!
Today started out rough, but like last time, half way through the day was the turning point. I felt much better after noon. I even made dinner for the family and took the dog for a short walk!
Now for the buzz cut unveiling.....
Amy...you're beautiful with or without hair!!!! Keep your spirits high.
ReplyDelete~Tish
You look beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThe SMILE says it all --- You're Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteStill beautiful inside and out.
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone! Wow, what a difference a day makes. My Annie Lennox hairdo is on it's way out. It's going going fast.
ReplyDelete