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CHEMO #3 DAY BY DAY - 4

Sunday --  Day 4


Early morning
Up until this point my chemo sickness had been limited to fatigue, aches, and mild nausea.  This morning it was more.  Even after an anti-nausea pill I found myself kneeling in front of the toilet.  I was mad and felt defeated.  
REALITY CHECK:  No matter how strong I am mentally, my body may still give out on me.  This is a defining moment.  Will I give up and feel sorry for myself, or will I choose to fight it?  
It's easy to say now..fight..but it wasn't earlier today.  I've really been down about it.


All day
I slept through church again and all the day's sunshine.  I did managed to eat a little lunch but then went back to sleep until 5:30pm when I got up to shower.  My head hurt so bad I took a Lortab and even then it took longer than I liked to knock it out.  I've had a lot of headaches since chemo started.


6:00
Again we were blessed with dinner from friends.  This time it was the Toy family.  I couldn't eat as much as I usually can, but it was still yummy.  I usually eat too much anyway.  I did managed to save room for an extra gooey brownie.  We have so much food now.  I need to find a way to divide and freeze.  The two meals brought to us this weekend might last us a week!


I think the fog might be starting to lift.  I've been awake for a couple hours now.  I'm worried about tomorrow.  I really want to work but even on my other "better" chemo weeks Monday is really hard.


8:00
Tonight I'm going to post some more pictures to my FAN and HAIR JOURNEY pages.  This is a big deal as they will unveil a very vulnerable time for me, my head shaving.  It will also include the first picture of me with a bald head.  Some people might ask why I would do this if it bothers me. I feel like it is all part of facing this head on.  The ugliness of cancer includes my hair loss and I need to look my enemy in the eye.

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